Our Blog
Compounding Grief With The Loss Of A Pet
Through personal experience and working with our clients for over 17 years, I have been made aware of clients in major distress. Their distress can be caused by being affected by compounding grief. What Is Compounding Grief ? Compounding grief is when you have had another major life challenge quite close to the loss of […]
Read MoreDecisions For Pet Cremation
Pet Cremation: The Many Decisions You Must Make For Your Furrever Friend? With the loss of your pet coming up soon and or taking place today there are so many things you need to arrange and come to terms with. Having a pet with you for a short or a long period of time creates […]
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Turning On Yourself
As people who love our pets it is inevitable that we find loss so hard to deal with. We blame ourselves for so many things. Situations turning out differently than the way we thought, the visions in our eyes are always softer than the reality of what happens to some of us.
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My Term For Loss – Foggy Brain Syndrome
As people who love our pets it is inevitable that we find loss so hard to deal with. We blame ourselves for so many things. Situations turning out differently than the way we thought, the visions in our eyes are always softer than the reality of what happens to some of us.
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The Guilt of Euthanasia
At some stage of your relationships with your loved ones there may come a time when you are approached by your vet to euthanise your pet. This is a very delicate area of discussion as some of our clients do not believe in euthanasia at all. This is a personal decision you yourself can only make, the following article is my observations on the subject.
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Why Does It Hurt So Much
Clients are sometimes quite taken aback by the initial pain they are feeling with the loss of their loved one. They are perplexed as to the enormity of the loss. We have had clients say to us on many an occasion "this hurts more than it did when my Mum passed away"
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Our Very First Blog Entry – Our Introduction
Mark & I took over the Bobs Farm Pet Crematorium in late 2004, after 20 years of tender care from the Smith Family, the original founding family. After over 16 years in the Pet Cremation industry it has become obvious to me that our clients have needed more than the cremation from our service.
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Our Very First Blog Entry - Our Introduction
Mark & I took over the Bobs Farm Pet Crematorium in late 2004, after 20 years of tender care from the Smith Family, the original founding family.
After over 16 years in the Pet Cremation industry it has become obvious to me that our clients have needed more than the cremation from our service.
Over the years, with that thought in mind, I have added resources to our site, we have our online support group, a regular group get together, articles and other peoples thoughts on the process.
Each day even with all of these resources I feel I come across another situation that needs just that extra bit of love and care.
My experience with grief is two fold, people & pets. I have experienced it first hand in what could only be described as a “crash course” We lost 4 family members, our gorgeous Kelly (our dog) and mischievous little Milly (our cat) in a six year period, more have been added over the years since that time, but the crash course was quite a blow.
Speaking so publicly is a bit daunting, my initial trepidation was my lack of formal education in the ‘therapy” industry but then decided 16 years hands on experience with our clients, along with my own personal journey would most likely equate to several degrees.
So here I go, I am here to assist you all and with hope the words that follow will help give you the tools you need to get the strength to move on from your grief and take on the world with the joy and zealous our fur babies do on a daily basis.
Sending you all love and virtual hugs until next time Di xx
Why Does It Hurt So Much
Clients are sometimes quite taken aback by the initial pain they are feeling with the loss of their loved one. They are perplexed as to the enormity of the loss. We have had clients say to us on many an occasion “this hurts more than it did when my Mum passed away”
So why does it hurt so much?
It is all about the relationship you have with your loved one. If your relationship with you dog or cat is better than the one you have with your Mum or other relative, the grief will dig deeper into your soul.
Just take a moment and think about the time you spend with your pet. Who else do you see that frequently? I am not sure about my readers but I see my dogs (we don’t currently have a cat) every day. We live on the same premises as our business so as I write this I have a boxer x on one side and a schnauzer x on the other.
This morning when I woke up Phoebe (schnauzer x) was happier than normal, which I must say is hard to beat. She ran around the room, licked me and looked me in the eyes with love and devotion. Lilly was a bit slower (older) but still quite happy to see me appear from the bedroom. The only thing I had to do to receive that amount of adoration was, simply wake up.
Who treats you this way, every single day of the relationship. Without fail they come and greet you with joy, love and devotion.
So having someone like this in your life is without a doubt going to knock the wind out of your sails when they pass away. No questions asked.
So it is completely normal to feel a huge hole in the pit of your stomach. It is not an over reaction it is simply, LOVE 💖
Sending you all love and virtual hugs until next time Di xx
The Guilt of Euthanasia
At some stage of your relationships with your loved ones there may come a time when you are approached by your vet to euthanise your pet. This is a very delicate area of discussion as some of our clients do not believe in euthanasia at all.
This is a personal decision you yourself can only make, the following article is my observations on the subject. This article is very personal and I am hoping my sharing this information will help our clients in some small way
Kelly was the first pet as an adult that I had to euthanise, she had cancer that you could literally see eating her away kilo by kilo. She was a beautiful loyal and amazing family member. I was told by our Vet that she only had six weeks once the diagnosis was made. As many of our clients have shared with me, I too hand fed Kelly all the luxuries in life to help her have yet another day on earth and another day with us. I was also told on that very same day that I would know when it was time. I drove home that day with my gorgeous girl in the back of my car, thinking what an absolutely ludicrous comment from my vet. When is it a good day to take someone’s life?
I should have trusted his knowledge and experience, because that day did come. I took Kelly to the beach for a swim. She vomited in the car all the way home, the next day she collapsed. I sat with her and my son and had that talk that I am sure many of you have had. The talk of gratitude, for being there for me through so many challenges in my life.
Things didn’t go exactly as planned, the staff held Kelly as the procedure took place. Too firmly I thought at the time. My rational mind not realising these people trying to help me had probably been bitten by many a dog in the past. Kelly was such a soft soul she would never have done such a thing. I cried for months and months after her loss.
Had I done the right thing ?
Had I robbed her of another week ?
Could the procedure have been softer if I knew what I was in for ?
So many “what ifs”
Two years later my father passed of cancer. He was diagnosed and passed in 2 weeks. I watched my father lie in a bed in a hospital dying slowly, without dignity with strangers prodding and poking him on a daily basis. At one stage a nurse gave him a morphine injection and my dad gestured with his hand for her to keep going. Even asking for help, it was ignored. He lingered here on the planet with us for longer than he should. Apparently we were being humane.
My conclusion since this day –
I have no guilt now when I choose euthanasia after what I saw my dad go through. I find it as one of the kindest gifts you can give another soul. They have given us so much love, loyalty and happiness. If we can give them the gift of a swift and peaceful passing, it is a minuscule gesture for all they have done for us
So when you are feeling low, or beat yourself up on what you have done. Please remember this story and realise you have given your adorable fur baby one of the most precious gifts on the planet
Until next time ….
Sending you all love and virtual hugs until next time Di xx
Turning On Yourself
As people who love our pets it is inevitable that we find loss so hard to deal with.
We blame ourselves for so many things. Situations turning out differently than the way we thought, the visions in our eyes are always softer than the reality of what happens to some of us.
We lost our gorgeous cat, Oscar to savage and mysterious means. To me it was one of the most distressing days of my life. Who could do such a thing and why hurt our poor, beautiful Oscar. What sort of a human behaves in such a manner with total disregard to another beautiful soul.
I found myself lost in grief and worst of all I turned on myself. It is so challenging seeing something pointless, happening for no reason whatsoever, so as normal I blamed myself. I have resided myself to know we will never have a cat whilst we live here, they simply would not be safe.
After years of thought and reflection I am unable to fix or return to the time to try and make what happened avoidable. It is just wishful thinking, it was years of torture with little or no resolve.
So thinking about our clients all I wish for you is that you do not turn on yourself for whatever reason. There are so many tragedies that happen every single day in our lives we have little or no control over. We see beautiful puppies, cruelty, accidents. old age & disease.
The most beautiful gift you can give the one you loved is to think of them with joy in your heart & know that accidents happen, cruel people exist, Vets misdiagnose & disease chooses at random.
These are all challenges we face. Spending time stuck in the grief is only to detriment to our own health. Our own mental well being is at risk. Find the strength within you as soon as you can, this will help you over the length of your life. Remember your loved one with joy in your heart.
As always I send you all love, strength & precious memories
Di xxx
My Term For Loss - Foggy Brain Syndrome
When Mark & I first started operating the company at the end of 2004 I had a sinking feeling in my gut as clients would leave me that I had not done enough for them.
I felt like they were out on a limb on their own, floundering in a world that had no clue what had happened to them.
After a while I started to notice similarities with our return clients, things they mentioned as we chatted about their loss. Things I too had been through on my journey through the labyrinth of grief.
So I have coined the phrase “foggy brain syndrome” It is a sense that your brain is functioning, like how your drive a car you are just in robot mode you do things without having to think, you are in automatic.
I have had clients tell me decisions they have made when in this land of limbo that they look back on and regret later once the fog of grief lifts ever so slightly.
So to my clients now and in the future I mention this to them if it comes up in conversation, that they too need to be wary of what they do in the next few weeks, months of their grief.
We make rash decisions in a not so lucid state so we need someone to guide us during this very fragile time. Someone who can look after our own well being until we can face the world once more.
So if you have important decisions to make after you have lost your pet, please reach out to a trusted family member or friend and run your ideas past them. It could be quite beneficial to have a clear mind guide you in your challenging time.
I have made many breakthroughs with clients over the years on how to help just that little bit.. I hope to share more with you in the coming years to help ease the pain and burden of your loss
Sending you all love and virtual hugs until next time Di xx